People's life stories are a rich and powerful gift.

I help to create meaningful funerals that celebrate life and love while leaving space for healthy grieving.
I am an independent celebrant which means you can contact me directly or ask a funeral director to contact me on your behalf. Funeral directors often recommend celebrants they know, but if you know a celebrant you would like to use you are always able to ask.

MY VALUES AS A FUNERAL CELEBRANT
My work is grounded in the events of my mother's final day. Her sudden and unexpected death was a profound lesson in what it really means to live every day as if it is your last. Live each day being true to yourself and to your values.

She was a deeply compassionate person, committed to equality and social justice. She believed in dignity and respect for every person. I am proud to bring those values to my work as a funeral celebrant. I have told Mum's story in my play, Pearls.

The first step
The first thing people say to me is often,'We've never done this before' or 'We don't know where to start.' The first thing to know about creating a funeral is that you do not need to rush. There is time and space to make sure decisions are right for you. If you are feeling overwhelmed or confused, please feel free to get in touch. I am available for a free phone consultation to help you talk things through. My genuine wish is that you find the right answers and the right people to help you create the funeral or memorial you want.

What happens next?
Your relationship with me will probably begin with a short phone call. We will make a time to meet that suits you and your family. This meeting is usually at your home. During that time, we will discuss the format of the funeral. We will also talk a lot about the person who has died. From the chronological and factual details, to the less tangible elements of their spirit and personality.

You might have a strong idea about how you would like the funeral to proceed or you might be looking to me for guidance and suggestions. I can act as a simple guide and coordinator, or Ican create the entire ceremony.

From there, I will work with you and other relevant family and friends to create and coordinate the service. Working closely with family members and friends, I can write a eulogy for you, help you to prepare one, or give you some simple advice and techniques. I also work closely with the funeral director as we ensure that the service truly reflects the spirit of the person who has died. On the day of the funeral, depending on what we have planned I will either conduct the funeral service or support you as you do it with your family and friends. Throughout the day, I will work closely with the funeral director to make sure you feel fully supported.
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WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AFUNERAL AND A MEMORIAL?
A memorial service is usually held without the help of a funeral director. In most cases the family will work with a funeral company to organise a cremation, and the family will then organise the celebration of life independently of the funeral company.  

I have helped families organise memorials in the garden of their home, in parks, the Botanic Gardens, at the beach, at surf clubs or sports clubs, and many other places.

Sometimes it is as a stand-alone service, and other times it is an additional service held after the funeral. There are many reasons you might want to have a memorial. One of the most common is when a person was living interstate or overseas, but you want to hold another service for friends and family who couldn’t be there. There are many other reasons people hold a memorial service. For example, if it was a sudden or unexpected death you might need time to think about what you want to do, so decide to have the burial or cremation then hold the ceremony at a later time. Perhaps an important person was travelling overseas or couldn’t be there for some reason so you want to hold a service that includes them. Often, people will have a smaller ceremony for the interment of ashes.

I conduct many memorial services and can help you not only with writing and leading the service but other logistical details such as recommending venues and providing my own PA equipment.  

FEES
Standard fee for funerals
Monday-Friday: $600; Saturday: $650; Sunday: $700
Standard fee for memorials
Monday-Friday: $700; Saturday: $750; Sunday: $800

The fee includes: In-person meeting where we can discuss the format and content; follow-up phone calls or emails for clarification and confirmation; travel within the Adelaide metropolitan region; writing the ceremony; writing a eulogy if required or offering any guidance on writing the eulogy; help with selecting content such as poetry, readings, or music as required; conducting the service according to your instructions; a printed and an electronic copy of the service.
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Variations to the fee For more complex services (for example, services longer than two hours or requiring more than one in-person meeting) or services outside the Adelaide metropolitan region there may be additional costs such as travel costs. I will always discuss these with you first. For bookings through a funeral director, there is no deposit required. I generally invoice you directly rather than through the funeral director. When you make a booking directly with me, I will invoice you directly, usually with a small deposit in advance and the balance to be paid in full after the service.

WHAT MAKES A GOOD CELEBRANT?
‍The right funeral celebrant is key to a funeral that truly reflects the tone and spirit that you want to create. I think there are three key skills you want in a celebrant: listening, writing, and performing.

A good funeral celebrant is good at listening. This is especially the case at our first meeting. We need to hear what you say about the person who has died, consciously leaving our own judgements and assumptions aside. We also need to hear what you say about how you want the day to go.

I have helped to create several hundred funerals so I can offer advice based on those experiences. But I am always careful to make sure I’m responding to you and the day you want to create.To be good at listening, you need empathy and compassion and you need to have a curiosity about the world. For me curiosity is not about being intrusive, but it is about always wanting to learn more about how people have lived their lives.

A good celebrant is good at writing. A funeral can be anything from 1,200 to 6,000 words or more. Besides the eulogy or life story and tributes, I usually write an introduction, the committal (shared farewell) and reflection, and a final thank you. There are also little pieces of text to weave all these elements together. I also often include a small reflection on grief. There are very few celebrants now who use a cut and paste formula to write a funeral and most celebrants I know do write a highly personalised service. (But I’m sorry to say there are definitely some celebrants who deliver the same script at every funeral–I honestly have no idea how they get away with it). So a good celebrant needs to be a good writer. To write with emotion, but not cliche. To be precise but not clinical. To be empathic, but not gushing. With good writing, a funeral celebrant will help you find the right words for your own unique grief.

A good celebrant has skills in performance. A funeral isn’t a performance, but it relies on many of the skills and techniques that I’ve learnt through performance. There are the technical considerations like breathing, pitch and volume. But there are also the less tangible qualities like finding the rhythms in language and bringing the right emotion at the right time. All while avoiding what my friend calls, ‘the dreaded funeral voice.’

How do you know if a celebrant has all the right skills? To a certain extent, it is a matter of trust. Trusting your friend’s recommendation, or trusting your funeral director to make the right match. But don’t be afraid to do your own research. A lot of celebrants have their own websites or social media pages. By the time I get to the first meeting, nearly everyone has read at least the home page of this site (welcome, if that’s what your’e doing now!). And if you want to talk to a funeral celebrant before your first meeting, you should always feel welcome to email or ring. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the person you are trusting on this important day.

MEETING WITH YOUR FUNERAL CELEBRANT
‍‍When we talk about a funeral we are often talking about the 45-90 minutes spent together in the ceremony or service–the formal part of the day. But a funeral is more than just the funeral–it is a process. It is has many parts, all of which can play a role in healthy grieving. And one of the earliest parts in the process is in the first meeting with your celebrant.

A chance to catch your breath When I meet with you to talk about the funeral, I do not follow a particular format. The meeting is an unstructured conversation, but it is a conversation with a purpose. It is an opportunity to reflect not only on individual memories and anecdotes about a person, but to understand how those anecdotes interact.

Meeting with the funeral celebrant is an enriching time, and often one of peace and healing. I think this is because for many people, this meeting is the first time they’ve had to simply sit and talk about the person. If the person has been sick, for example, conversation has often been centred on the progress of their illness or on managing their pain. If the final years have been shaped by dementia, thoughts might have been focussed on trying to make sense of the impact of the disease. The meeting with the celebrant is  an opportunity to talk and to think about the person you loved in a much more wholistic way.

Talking about the person you love There are really two strands to this meeting. First, we will be talking about the logistics for the day of the funeral–will it be live-streamed, who will be speaking, what music have you chosen and so on. But more importantly, we will be talking about the person. We will be talking about their life, and we will be talking about the tone you want to set for the day, and how best to reflect that person’s spirit.

During the meeting, I take a LOT of notes. (I take them in a notebook, because I really don’t want to lose those notes to the cloud). I ask many straightforward questions (what was her first job?), but I try to understand not only what they did, but also how and why. I try to understand the person’s personality and character through their actions (what did they like about travelling?).  

The meeting with the funeral celebrant can, of course, be a time of tension, but most families find a way to minimise the conflict–most commonly, by appointing one person to act as a point of contact.There are nearly always tears during this meeting, and I’ll admit I often tear up too. I’ll quickly reassure you that I won’t be a sobbing mess, and I don’t cry at the funeral. But there are often moments of profound realisation–an appreciation of a loving relationship or the reality of loss–and it is moving to be sharing that moment with someone. I try to read what you need from that moment, whether that’s a moment of silence to think, or moving the conversation along.

Before meeting the funeral celebrant, you might like to prepare a little in advance, jotting down notes about their life or getting in touch with people who might like to speak. If you have no idea where to start, don’t worry, we will talk it all through at the meeting.

At the end of the meeting, you should have a clear idea about the next steps and the format we will be following on the day. But much more than that, you should feel that you have spent an hour or two focused on the person you love, sharing their strengths, their quirks, their flaws–one step towards making sense of the world without their physical presence.