Here’s a short list of things to not do the first day off the lounge after a bout of food poisoning, which set in about an hour after you made a public swipe at Parkinson via your online personal journal:

  • make telephone contact with dog breeders;
  • agree on the spot to the quote the roof window fellow offers you, even though he is a truly lovely and genuine chap who rocks up exactly when he says he is going to, speaks to you in a respectful way, and says such reassuring things as oh, yeah, we can do that, this will be a simple job, wish they were all this simple and you could do it that way, but it’s much cheaper to do it my way;
  • turn the television on again – one full day of daytime television is enough for anyone who has passed their mid-twenties;
  • take children – one of whom (and yes, thanks for asking, the Grumpy/Obstinate One) is slightly under the weather, but has spent a whole day at combined pre-school/childcare anyway because you’re in a mad flap and really couldn’t afford to spend two days on the couch – to the market to stock up on fruit because obviously eighteen apples and six pears purchased on Saturday isn’t enough fruit for what seem to be two rather small boys;
  • re-read ‘work’ done in notebooks while in a poisoned stupor;
  • answer phone, particularly if there is a chance the person on the other end will be potential client expecting an intelligent discussion with you;
  • have a coffee to prove you are recovered.

Instead, take your partner’s advice and spend another day on the couch, although substituting DVDs for the television overload.

Also, you know how people tell you that should not reheat reheated takeaway. Yeah, well, you shouldn’t.