My eldest boy has been away on his first school trip and (you will not be surprised to hear) the peppermint foot spray I gave him to refresh his feet at the end of the day has come home unopened. Describing some of the logistics he dealt with he said, ‘Well, I just tried to think like you, Mum.’

One the one hand: how cool is that?

On the other: WTF? WHY WOULD YOU THINK LIKE ME WHEN YOU COULD THINK LIKE THE MISTER HAVEN’T I TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING?