So we were discussing the freakiness or otherwise of Pirates of the Caribbean and its suitability for movie night, and I said, because they had started discussing The Kraken and other Things that Lurk, ‘Well it’s got Johnny Depp’ and youngest said, ‘Who’s Johnny Depp?’ and I said, ‘The man I want to marry’ and Youngest said, ‘But what about Dad? What would you do with Daddy? Would you really marry Johnny Depp?’ and then he clung to his father’s arm.

At which point the mister kissed his lad on the head and said, ‘Put it this way, my lovely lad, I don’t feel threatened.’