The drawer where the frozen peas should go has been stuffed with packets of frozen berries, and you can’t move the berries back up to the berry shelf, because the pots of stock are there, and the pots of stock don’t fit anywhere else, because you had to use the round containers to store the stock since all of the square ones are being used as lunchboxes…which reminds you that everytime you open the door of the cupboard full of containers, lids fall out, and as they fall they topple unsteady stacks of squares and circles and rectangles which, in turn, reminds you that even though you spend hours of your life decluttering, the whole house is overflowing with clothes that don’t fit anyone and nuts that don’t have screws and little black plugs from who knows where and projects on kangaroos and unconstructed boxes from IKEA which promised you they would fix all of your problems in one afternoon…

…and now the fucking door of the fucking freezer is beeping to tell you it is open, as if you didn’t fucking know, because aren’t you trying to find a place to put the fucking, fucking peas.

Dear fridge and freezer manufacturers, here is a statistic: number of times the high-pitched beep of the freezer door has beeped at a time I have not known that the freezer door was open? Fuck all.