Do you spend much time or effort trying to keep your options open? I ask, because I’ve just realised that this has been my prevailing mindset over the last three years, and, reflecting on where I’ve found myself, I’m not sure that as a life strategy keeping your options open is all that magnificent.
It seems to me, reflecting on where I am right now, that when you work at keeping your options open, you spend a lot of time waiting to see how things pan out or the fallout from this or the outcome of such and such. It seems to me you spend a lot of time thinking, ‘We’ll know more in the next three weeks, six weeks, four months’. But meanwhile other things have happened and before you know it years have passed and you’re no more clear of purpose than you were before.
Perhaps it would be better if I took decisive action. Perhaps life is best lived if we decide what it is that we want instead of waiting to see what choices the universe throws our way and then deciding between them. I try to decide, but there’s this to be considered. And that. What if the grass isn’t just greener, but softer too and of some variety that never needs to be mowed?
And can anyone tell me why I keep talking about the universe and the life it has delivered me when I’m really not into the concepts of fate and plans and this was meant to be?
It’s October. I never think weird things in October. This is supposed to be my calm, nothing much happens time of the year. Maybe it’s because our toaster broke (still no one knows how), and for nearly forty years my breakfast has been two pieces of toast with Vegemite. (Apart from the mornings after my parents’ dinner parties and I could sneak out and make toast with sugar sprinkled on). Gawd, is that the meaning of my life? Two daily pieces of toast with Vegemite?