When you arrive at a BBQ, you should be able to see at least one man wearing an apron. A lasting favourite is the apron of fake breasts. Personalised printed aprons are surprisingly rare. There is often an apron option in one of the NGO Christmas catalogues, and men with daughters doing arts degrees have very often been given one and will be wearing it with real, but hidden, pride. Aprons with Leunig cartoons are last century, but are still seen at the BBQs of cusp-of-retirement teachers (generally history, biology or English).

If there is just one man wearing an apron, he is your host. If there are two men wearing aprons, one is your host and the other is his best mate or brother-in-law. Any more than two men wearing aprons is not natural. You will learn nothing about the real Australia at such a BBQ, and you may as well be at home reading Patrick White.