‘No, thank you,’ I said.
‘But it’s spend 8,000 dirhams between now and tomorrow, then get ten percent off the second purchase you make between Wednesday and 2 am.’
‘No, thank you,’ I said.

I think I’m the only person who has ever said no to her loyalty card. It’s nothing personal, I want to say. I just do not sign up for loyalty cards. Not the ten percent off every purchase, not the ones that get you invitations to exclusive pre-sale parties. I don’t even like the every tenth coffee free.

I get that some people love a bargain, love the thrill of the chase and so on. But see, I find shopping and buying stuff hard enough as it is. It is completely incomprehensible to me how people can ‘go shopping’ for recreation. I would say that about eighty percent of the time I go shopping, it ends in tears. Mine or someone else’s caused by me.

Loyalty cards just add to the stress. Demanding to be accounted for, to be considered, remembered. For me, loyalty schemes are just another one of those niggles, another piece of brain-noise I can do without. For a person who already over-thinks, this is an issue. If I had to think, every time I stepped into a shop, ‘But I shouldn’t buy it here, I have to buy it at the shop at the other mall, but then I’ll need to get back in the car…’ analysis paralysis, we haz it.

The only exception I make is for frequent flyer points. I am a member of two frequent flyer schemes. Which is why, after spending several hours online last night and the night before trying to book my tickets home for the summer (which will be winter – yay) I am bloody exhausted today.