Gawd. I just realised if I had lived a different life, there could be people alive right now who would know me only as ‘nana’. Fark.
Here’s the thing: just because I’m not a Dog Person doesn’t make me a Cat Person. It’s 2011. Why are we still discussing this? PS Not to say I don’t… Read more
You know that thing where you get an email and already your hackles are slightly raised just by the sight of their name in your inbox and *then* you read… Read more
People really need to stop citing Mad Men as if it is a documentary. It’s not quite as bad as when everyone believed Jed Bartlett really did have the code…. Read more
I am sprinkling the word cognitive through this essay, as if I understand it, in the hope that soon I will.
Our knives were any good
I would just now
Some days I want to go back to the times when Rumpole of the Bailey was unmissable. But then I remember that where we lived we couldn’t get 21 Jump… Read more
Do you know why they invented saxophones? To make violins sound quiet. Piano. Why didn’t either of them choose piano? You don’t have to find the notes on a piano.
I am determined to get started on one of my three assignments all of which, I note with panic, are due on 26 September, a date which is not, as… Read more
What else do you do when you’ve got a bathroom to scrub, an assignment to get your head around, and a new school to settle your lads into, but update… Read more
At the moment, for example, I am doing that thing I had forgotten I used to do. I hold the cup softly against one cheek. Then, when the steam has… Read more
I am in my kitchen making stock and as I watch the butter melt my heart says to me, ‘If I never had to leave this day, then I would… Read more
We watched Stand by Me, and I was left thinking of the night that River Phoenix died and his brother Joaquin was there, and that always rips at me a… Read more
Yesterday, at eleven o’clock, after thinking about it for over an hour and making the perfect amount of coffee to accompany it, I realised that I had left my cake,… Read more
The gauge has said thirty five for two days in a row, and so we know that winter, or what passes for it, has now passed.
It is lucky that said decisions have been decided…
I share an office, but all of my colleagues are away today. On a scale of 1 to 10, how evil would it be to eat that packet of chips which one of them has left on his desk?
With great surprise, I report that chocolate chips do not enhance this rock cake recipe.
(And I agree that in 2011, this is less of a blog post and more of a tweet or a facebook status update…
Dear ‘roach It’s not me, it’s you, and in addition, this probably won’t hurt me as much as it’s gonna hurt you. Yours &c TC
The moments between the bird’s entrance through the door and exit through the window were filled with drama and cake.
So today youngest lad is wondering why santa claus brought him a box of coco pops* and a packet of chewing gum*, and brought the kid upstairs a dsi excel.
On the subject of my iPad, the mister’s father asks, ‘So what is the difference between that and a laptop?’ The mister holds his breath again. ‘The iPad is cool… Read more
Youngest Lad has never been scared of making his feelings known . . he comes from a long line of activists . . and he rarely loses .
Every now and then, just to mess with the mister’s mind, I iron his shirts. Never fails.
I’m not a fan of teeth. Functionally, sure, they’re a good piece of design, but aesthetically, they don’t do us, as a species, any favours. Also, their maintenance costs a… Read more
So, I just realised something so amazing that I have to put it on facebook and my blog. Next year, on 4th of the 2nd, I will turn 42. Even… Read more
On the days that the person I think I am aligns with the person I really am, I find myself more exhausted than you’d expect.
Though having said that, a fruit salad is never diminished by the grape.
I’m a big fan of the grape. But not in a salad.
The mister was even less impressed by my decision to pay for a horoscope chart than I thought he would be.
I do know how those AFL players are feeling right now. In my first ever game of netball, the score was declared as forty nil, and for the rest of… Read more
In the year that her Christmas wish was motor car airconditioning, the man my grandmother married gave her a window shade.
I read this, and then I fell a little bit in love with Gerard Whateley. (actually, I had already fallen in love with him a long time ago, and this… Read more
Where would we be if they’d listened to Yoda?
On the plus side, the angsting has been short-lived, and a solution to my problem (which, because of reasons, I can’t really go into, but is, in a nutshell, that… Read more
Sorry, I’ve got nothing for you on account of being in the midst of yet another bout of privileged middle-class angst in a time of inner reflection, and these are… Read more
This morning, while I was waving to someone in a friendly, but not vigorous style, I poked myself so hard that I removed a tiny piece of skin from the… Read more
Curses. I have missed 29 April, which is like, totally the mister’s fault, because I said I wanted to come home three hours ago and he insisted we stay for… Read more
I’ve had three haircuts in the last 14 months. One at my usual hairdresser in Goodwood, one when we went to Edinburgh and one by Cindy just two days before… Read more
And for desert, I had creme brulee which, I find, is worth the nine average ones for the one bingo. The mister chose the berry tart which came with ice… Read more
Dear interwebs If you were me, what would you do? Yours in anticipation of wise and revelatory counsel tc
but if I hear you order a bacardi and pineapple juice (with extra ice), I will judge you. Openly. Yes, I will.
My mistakes would not be recognised as such, and my pot plants would never die and would always flower (where appropriate).
Time would expand so that I am able, within the space of just one day, to dazzle my boys with cultural experiences which ignite lifelong passions; and laze on the… Read more
Iced tea got warm is drinkable, whereas hot tea gone cold is not. Or, more precisely, but simultaneously less: iced tea got warm is not undrinkable, whereas hot tea gone… Read more
Is it a mistake, or is it just a period of time that is deeply unsettling but worth it in the end?
They are playing Poptropica again and when they ‘customise’ their avatars, my little boys say ‘costume-ise’.
And just as I turned off the light, the thought, unbidden, came: the plural of spouse is spice.
‘And you see,’ he says, pointing to the building next door which is made of reflective glass, ‘it has a sea view.’
‘Bit more mass than Christ, isn’t it?’ I said to the woman standing next to me in the line. But I had mis-judged the chemistry between us.
…and when I thought I might make a good civil celebrant (for funerals more than weddings)
So remember when you thought that enjo would change your life.
Today, I heard a woman say: I can’t run because I’m wearing a long dress because I haven’t shaved my legs.
I love the internet so much that if I were less monogomous, I would marry it. Look what I found. I used to stand in the shadows of my bedroom… Read more